Thursday, May 31, 2012

CONSERVATIVE PERSPECTIVE: Barack Hussein Obama: America’s Most Biblically-Hostile U. S. President (The List)

 1. Acts of hostility toward people of Biblical faith:

- April 2008 – Obama speaks disrespectfully of Christians, saying they “cling to guns or religion” and have an “antipathy to people who aren't like them.”

- February 2009 – Obama announces plans to revoke conscience protection for health workers who refuse to participate in medical activities that go against their beliefs, and fully implements the plan in February 2011. 

- April 2009 – When speaking at Georgetown University, Obama orders that a monogram symbolizing Jesus' name be covered when he is making his speech. 

- May 2009 – Obama declines to host services for the National Prayer Day (a day established by federal law) at the White House. 

- April 2009 – In a deliberate act of disrespect, Obama nominated three pro-abortion ambassadors to the Vatican; of course, the pro-life Vatican rejected all three. 

- October 19, 2010 – Obama begins deliberately omitting the phrase about “the Creator” when quoting the Declaration of Independence – an omission he has made on no less than seven occasions. 

- November 2010 – Obama misquotes the National Motto, saying it is “E pluribus unum” rather than “In God We Trust” as established by federal law.  

- January 2011 – After a federal law was passed to transfer a WWI Memorial in the Mojave Desert to private ownership, the U. S. Supreme Court ruled that the cross in the memorial could continue to stand, but the Obama administration refused to allow the land to be transferred as required by law, and refused to allow the cross to be re-erected as ordered by the Court. 

- February 2011 – Although he filled posts in the State Department, for more than two years Obama did not fill the post of religious freedom ambassador, an official that works against religious persecution across the world; he filled it only after heavy pressure from the public and from Congress. 

- April 2011 – For the first time in American history, Obama urges passage of a non-discrimination law that does not contain hiring protections for religious groups, forcing religious organizations to hire according to federal mandates without regard to the dictates of their own faith, thus eliminating conscience protection in hiring. 

- August 2011 – The Obama administration releases its new health care rules that override religious conscience protections for medical workers in the areas of abortion and contraception. 

- November 2011 – Obama opposes inclusion of President Franklin Roosevelt’s famous D-Day Prayer in the WWII Memorial. 

- November 2011 – Unlike previous presidents, Obama studiously avoids any religious references in his Thanksgiving speech. 

- December 2011 – The Obama administration denigrates other countries' religious beliefs as an obstacle to radical homosexual rights. 

- January 2012 – The Obama administration argues that the First Amendment provides no protection for churches and synagogues in hiring their pastors and rabbis.  

- February 2012 – The Obama administration forgives student loans in exchange for public service, but announces it will no longer forgive student loans if the public service is related to religion.

2. Acts of hostility from the Obama-led military toward people of Biblical faith:

- June 2011 – The Department of Veterans Affairs forbids references to God and Jesus during burial ceremonies at Houston National Cemetery. 

- August 2011 – The Air Force stops teaching the Just War theory to officers in California because the course is taught by chaplains and is based on a philosophy introduced by St. Augustine in the third century AD – a theory long taught by civilized nations across the world (except America). 

- September 2011 – Air Force Chief of Staff prohibits commanders from notifying airmen of programs and services available to them from chaplains. 

- September 2011 – The Army issues guidelines for Walter Reed Medical Center stipulating that “No religious items (i.e. Bibles, reading materials and/or facts) are allowed to be given away or used during a visit.”

- November 2011 – The Air Force Academy rescinds support for Operation Christmas Child, a program to send holiday gifts to impoverished children across the world, because the program is run by a Christian charity.

- November 2011 – The Air Force Academy pays $80,000 to add a Stonehenge-like worship center for pagans, druids, witches and Wiccans.

- February 2012 – The U. S. Military Academy at West Point disinvites three star Army general and decorated war hero Lieutenant General William G. (“Jerry”) Boykin (retired) from speaking at an event because he is an outspoken Christian.

- February 2012 – The Air Force removes “God” from the patch of Rapid Capabilities Office (the word on the patch was in Latin: Dei).

- February 2012 – The Army orders Catholic chaplains not to read a letter to parishioners that their archbishop asked them to read.

3. Acts of hostility toward Biblical values:

- January 2009 – Obama lifts restrictions on U.S. government funding for groups that provide abortion services or counseling abroad, forcing taxpayers to fund pro-abortion groups that either promote or perform abortions in other nations.

- January 2009 – President Obama’s nominee for deputy secretary of state asserts that American taxpayers are required to pay for abortions and that limits on abortion funding are unconstitutional.

- March 2009 – The Obama administration shut out pro-life groups from attending a White House-sponsored health care summit.

- March 2009 – Obama orders taxpayer funding of embryonic stem cell research.

- March 2009 – Obama gave $50 million for the UNFPA, the UN population agency that promotes abortion and works closely with Chinese population control officials who use forced abortions and involuntary sterilizations.

- May 2009 – The White House budget eliminates all funding for abstinence-only education and replaces it with “comprehensive” sexual education, repeatedly proven to increase teen pregnancies and abortions. He continues the deletion in subsequent budgets.

- May 2009 – Obama officials assemble a terrorism dictionary calling pro-life advocates violent and charging that they use racism in their “criminal” activities.

- July 2009 – The Obama administration illegally extends federal benefits to same-sex partners of Foreign Service and Executive Branch employees, in direction violation of the federal Defense of Marriage Act.

- September 16, 2009 – The Obama administration appoints as EEOC Commissioner Chai Feldblum, who asserts that society should “not tolerate” any “private beliefs,” including religious beliefs, if they may negatively affect homosexual “equality.”

- July 2010 – The Obama administration uses federal funds in violation of federal law to get Kenya to change its constitution to include abortion.

- August 2010 – The Obama administration Cuts funding for 176 abstinence education programs.

- September 2010 – The Obama administration tells researchers to ignore a judge’s decision striking down federal funding for embryonic stem cell research.

- February 2011 – Obama directs the Justice Department to stop defending the federal Defense of Marriage Act.

- March 2011 – The Obama administration refuses to investigate videos showing Planned Parenthood helping alleged sex traffickers get abortions for victimized underage girls.

- July 2011 – Obama allows homosexuals to serve openly in the military, reversing a policy originally instituted by George Washington in March 1778.

- September 2011 – The Pentagon directs that military chaplains may perform same-sex marriages at military facilities in violation of the federal Defense of Marriage Act.

- October 2011 – The Obama administration eliminates federal grants to the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops for their extensive programs that aid victims of human trafficking because the Catholic Church is anti-abortion.

4. Acts of preferentialism for Islam:

- May 2009 – While Obama does not host any National Day of Prayer event at the White House, he does host White House Iftar dinners in honor of Ramadan.

- April 2010 – Christian leader Franklin Graham is disinvited from the Pentagon’s National Day of Prayer Event because of complaints from the Muslim community.

- April 2010 – The Obama administration requires rewriting of government documents and a change in administration vocabulary to remove terms that are deemed offensive to Muslims, including jihad, jihadists, terrorists, radical Islamic, etc.

- August 2010 – Obama speaks with great praise of Islam and condescendingly of Christianity.

- August 2010 – Obama went to great lengths to speak out on multiple occasions on behalf of building an Islamic mosque at Ground Zero, while at the same time he was silent about a Christian church being denied permission to rebuild at that location.

- 2010 – While every White House traditionally issues hundreds of official proclamations and statements on numerous occasions, this White House avoids traditional Biblical holidays and events but regularly recognizes major Muslim holidays, as evidenced by its 2010 statements on Ramadan, Eid-ul-Fitr, Hajj, and Eid-ul-Adha.

- October 2011 – Obama’s Muslim advisers block Middle Eastern Christians’ access to the White House.

- February 2012 – The Obama administration makes effulgent apologies for Korans being burned by the U. S. military, 51 but when Bibles were burned by the military, numerous reasons were offered why it was the right thing to do.

"Many of these actions are literally unprecedented – this is the first time they have happened in four centuries of American history. The hostility of President Obama toward Biblical faith and values is without equal from any previous American president." StumbleUpon

The Monsters Our Politicians Created | Dick Puddlecote

The Monsters Our Politicians Created | Dick Puddlecote StumbleUpon

Thousands of illegal immigrants are being freed 'to safeguard their human rights' | Mail Online

Thousands of illegal immigrants are being freed 'to safeguard their human rights' | Mail Online

Thousands of illegal immigrants have been caught by the authorities before being released ‘to protect their human rights’.
One in six of those granted bail later absconds – meaning they must be caught a second time at huge cost to the taxpayer.
Internal Home Office figures show that last year 1,665 immigration detainees were granted bail, of whom 277 later absconded.
Sir Andrew Green, chairman of Migrationwatch, said: ‘Trying to deport illegal immigrants inevitably takes a fair amount of time.

Lone Star Parson: The Number of the Damned

Lone Star Parson: The Number of the Damned StumbleUpon

Zombie apocalypse becomes reality in Miami as police shoot naked, mindless man literally eating the face off another man

Prison » Zombie apocalypse becomes reality in Miami as police shoot naked, mindless man literally eating the face off another man

The long-dreaded “zombie apocalypse” may already be underway in Miami, where a human zombie — a mindless naked man — was encountered by police officers who found him literally feasting on the face of another naked man. This is a true event and has been reported by CBS Miami (…) which says:

“Miami police shot and killed a man on the MacArthur Causeway Saturday afternoon, and police sources told CBS4 they had no choice: the naked man they shot was trying to chew the face off another naked man, and refused to obey police orders to stop his grisly meal. …Officers found one man gnawing on the face of another, in what one police source called the most gruesome thing he’d ever seen.”

At that point, the police officers shot the zombie once, but he continued feeding on the other man’s face. They were forced to shoot him again, which mercifully killed him. Then they sought to aid the victim whose face was already mostly eaten off.

“With the attacker dead, lying nude on the pavement, officers and paramedics were able to get to his victim and rush him to Jackson Memorial Hospital. Police sources say the man had virtually no face and was unrecognizable. Once the bizarre confrontation came to an end, police were left with the task of figuring out what had happened…”

A surveillance video has surfaced of the incident. Here’s a still shot from the video, showing the two men lying on the sidewalk, under a road bridge, with a police car parked nearby: StumbleUpon

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Pro Tip: capitalism only works if the markets are actually FREE

The Second Act Of The JPM CIO Fiasco Has Arrived - Mismarking Hundreds Of Billions In Credit Default Swaps | ZeroHedge

Did The Markit Group, A Black-Box Company Partially Owned By Goldman Sachs and JP Morgan, Devastate Markets?

Last year, the media reported that New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo had sent subpoenas to Markit Group as part of an investigation into possible manipulation of credit default swap prices by short sellers. This investigation, like Mr. Cuomo’s other investigations into market manipulation, have yielded no prosecutions.

The Department of Justice is reportedly investigating Markit Group for anti-trust violations. This investigation (which is reportedly focused on how Markit Group packages and sells its information) seems to acknowledge that Market Group has near-monopolistic control of information about credit default swap prices. However, if the press reports are correct, the DOJ has not considered the possible appeal of this monopolistic control to market manipulators.

Meanwhile, Henry Hu, the director of the Securities and Exchange Commission’s division of risk, has said that it has been nearly impossible for the SEC to conduct investigations into any matter concerning credit default swaps because the commission does not have access to any data on the trading of CDSs. In itself, this is a shocking admission.  It is all the more shocking when one considers that the necessary data exists and might be in the hands of The Markit Group – a black box company based in London.

A thorough investigation of Markit Group is urgently required.

Here is what we know so far:
  • Markit Group was co-founded by Rony Grushka, Lance Uggla, and Kevin Gould. Prior to founding Markit Group, Mr. Grushka’s main line of business was investing in Bulgarian property developments. He recently resigned from the board of Orchid Developments Group, an Israeli-invested company based in Sophia, Bulgaria. Messrs. Uggla and Gould formerly worked for Toronto-Dominion Bank in Canada.
  • Markit Group’s founders also include four hedge funds. However, Markit Group refuses to disclose the names of those hedge funds. In response to an inquiry, a Markit Group spokesman said it was “corporate policy” to keep the names of the hedge funds secret, but he would not say why Markit Group had such a policy. It seems worth knowing whether those hedge funds have any influence over Markit Group’s published information or indexes, and whether those hedge funds are trading on that information. It would also be worth knowing whether those hedge funds or affiliated hedge funds have engaged in short selling of public companies whose debt and stock prices were profoundly affected by the information that Markit Group published.
  • Goldman Sachs (NYSE:GS), JP Morgan Chase (NYSE:JPM) and several other investment banks also have ownership stakes in Markit Group. The investment banks received their stakes in exchange for providing trading data to Markit Group. It would be worth knowing whether these investment banks engaged in short selling ahead of Markit Group’s published indexes and price quotations.
  • Markit Group is secretive about how it creates its indexes. In early 2008, The Wall Street Journal noted that the CMBX simply “doesn’t make sense” and that Markit Group’s indexes “might be exaggerating the amount of distress” in the home and commercial mortgage markets. In 2008, the average prediction for defaults on commercial mortgages was 2%. The CMBX implied that the default rate could be four times that level.
  • When short seller David Einhorn initiated his famous public attack on Lehman Brothers, one of his central arguments was that the CMBX (the index that was likely “exaggerating the amount of distress”) proved that Lehman had overvalued the commercial mortgages on its books.
  • In March 2008, the Commercial Mortgage Securities Association sent a letter to Markit Group asking it disclose basic information about how the CMBX index is created and its daily trading volume. “The volatility in the CMBX index, caused by short sellers, distorts the true picture of the value of commercial-mortgage-backed securities,” the group said in a statement.
  • Markit Group is equally secretive about how it derives its “prices” for credit default swaps. A spokesman for the company spent close to one hour talking to Deep Capture. He did his job well and sounded like he was trying to be helpful. But he told us as little as possible.
  • However, in the course of this conversation, we did learn that Markit Group’s “prices” are not actual, traded prices. They are mere quotations. The Markit Group has what it calls “contributors” – hedge funds and broker-dealers that provide it with information. Markit Group has a grand total of 22 “contributors.” Deep Capture asked Markit Group’s spokesman for the names of these “contributors.” The spokesman said he would try to find out the names and call back later. He never called back.
  • The 22 “contributors” provide Markit Group with quotations, and these quotations become the Markit Group’s “price.” In other words, the “contributors” can quote any price for a CDS that they choose, regardless of whether anyone is actually willing to buy the CDS at that price. Markit Group looks at these quotations. Then it somehow decides which quotations make the most sense. Then it publishes information that purports to represent the actual market price of that CDS. This process is certainly unscientific. And it is ripe for abuse.
  • Consider, for example, the Markit Group “price” for CDSs insuring the debt of company X.  The Markit Group price strongly suggests that company X is going to default on its debt in the immediate future. Short sellers eagerly point to the Markit Group CDS “price” as evidence that company X is doomed. Panic ensues, and suddenly, company X really is doomed. But the fact is, nobody ever bought a company X CDS at the price quoted by Markit Group. Rather, that panic-inducing “price” was, in effect, pulled out of a hat. Who pulled it out of a hat? That is matter of immense importance. There are two possible scenarios:
  • The first possible scenario is that the 22 “contributors” report their quotations in good faith. They should be sending the actual traded price, not just a quotation, but assume they are just doing what was asked of them. From these quotations, Markit Group somehow decides what the “price” should be. It is possible that this decision is based on some secret formula (which would be worrisome); or it is possible that Markit Group executives sit around a table debating what the price should be and take a shot in the dark (which would be even more worrisome); or it is possible that Markit Group deliberately chooses the most horrifying price possible in order to assist the short sellers who are affiliated with its owners (which would be a matter for the authorities).
  • The second possible scenario is that Markit Group acts in good faith (if not scientifically), but one or more of the 22 “contributors” or their affiliates has an interest in seeing company X fail. If just one of those “contributors” sends in an astronomically high quotation, that could be enough. Markit Group factors the absurd quotation into its posted “price” and it suddenly becomes possible to convince the world that company X is about to default on its debt.  Panic ensues, the firm’s layer of debt dries up, the stock price plunges, and perhaps the “contributor” or its affiliate make a lot of money.
  • As Deep Capture understands it, CDS quotations suggested by the 22 “contributors” also help determine the movement of the CMBX and ABX indexes. The movement of these indexes did serious damage to the American economy in multiple ways. The  indexes prompted write downs at most of the major banks and mortgage companies. They were ammunition for short sellers, like David Einhorn, who claimed that companies had cooked their books by not writing down to the rock bottom prices suggested by the Markit Group indexes. They helped precipitate the decline in prices of mortgage securities, and contributed mightily to the panic that spread across the markets.  A lot of people made a lot of money as result of those indexes moving downward. So, it is rather important to know more about how those indexes are formulated, and if they can be driven by the same people who are making directional bets on their movements.

Jack Cashill: Warren, Obama, and Harvard's Culture of Corruption

Articles: Warren, Obama, and Harvard's Culture of Corruption

Feeling the pressure, Harvard Law Review editors wanted to elect their first African-American president.  "Obama cast himself as an eager listener," the New York Times reported in the article that would catch the eye of literary agent Jane Dystel, "sometimes giving warring classmates the impression that he agreed with all of them at once." 

In effect, the pressure Bell had brought to bear launched Obama's political career, and it may have given Warren the idea to reinvent herself as Pocahontas.  One could almost forgive Warren for cheating a little.  At the time, the Law School faculty was flush with cheats, including Obama's two most prominent mentors. 

One of them, liberal icon Laurence Tribe, hired Obama as his research assistant in 1989 and took a powerful liking to the young man.  After the 2008 election, Tribe would gush, "His stunning combination of analytical brilliance and personal charisma, openness and maturity, vision and pragmatism, was unmistakable from my very first encounter." 

Obama found a second prominent mentor in professor Charles Ogletree.  In the run-up to the 2008 election, Ogletree would enthuse, "I'm so excited about this candidacy that I just can't tell you. I'm just overfull with joy."  If anything, both Ogletree and Tribe should have been overfull with joy in the simple fact that they had hung onto their Harvard jobs.

In August 2004, Ogletree had been forced to apologize for somehow letting words from Yale scholar Jack Balkin's book, What Brown v. Board of Education Should Have Said, find their way into his own book, All Deliberate Speed.  At Harvard, given Ogletree's standing, none dared call this plagiarism.
At the University of Massachusetts Law School, however, Dean Lawrence Velvel called it exactly what it was, and publicly.  Tribe, something of an academic showboat, moved swiftly to defend Ogletree.  Although conceding that plagiarism by the prominent had become "a phenomenon of some significance," Tribe questioned the "decency" of those like Velvel who go public on issues "about which your knowledge is necessarily limited."

In a delightful turn of the paddlewheel, Tribe's showboating caught up with him just a few weeks later.  Amazed by the sheer moxie of Tribe's defense, an anonymous tipster reported that passages from Henry J. Abraham's 1974 book, Justices and Presidents, had somehow found their way into Tribe's 1985 book, God Save This Honorable Court.

Forced to review the twin cases, Harvard Law School dean Elena Kagan -- yes, that Elena Kagan -- and Harvard president Larry Summers faced an obvious challenge: Ogletree was a black star on a faculty often criticized for being overly white, and Tribe was the superstar of the judicial left.  Had the plagiarists-in-residence not been such sacred cows, Harvard would have likely ground them into hamburger. 

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Hellflower cover rough 1



[Roy Morgan Research] Morgan Poll


In the latest Morgan Poll L-NP support is 61.5% (up 3.5% since last week’s face-to-face Morgan Poll) compared to the ALP’s 38.5% (down 3.5%) on a two-party preferred basis according to a face-to-face Morgan Poll conducted last weekend, May 26/27, 2012. This is a record two-party preferred lead for the L-NP in over 70 years of the Morgan Poll based on how electors said they’d vote.
Today’s face-to-face Morgan Poll shows the L-NP primary vote is 49% (up 3.5%) well ahead of the ALP 27.5% (down 4.5%). Support for the minor parties shows the Greens 13% (up 2.5%) and Independents/ Others 10.5% (down 1.5%).
If a Federal election were held today the L-NP would win easily according to today’s Morgan Poll.
The Roy Morgan Government Confidence Rating is 95pts with 39.5% (down 2%) saying Australia is ‘heading in the right direction,’ compared to 44.5% (up 1%) saying Australia is ‘heading in the wrong direction’.
The latest weekly Roy Morgan Consumer Confidence Rating conducted last weekend, May 26/27, 2012, is virtually unchanged at 108.3 (up 0.1pts).
Gary Morgan says:
“Today’s face-to-face Morgan Poll shows a record two-party preferred lead for the L-NP (61.5%) cf. ALP (38.5%) after former Labor MP Craig Thomson addressed Parliament last week to deny any wrongdoing while Secretary of the Health Services Union (HSU).
“Despite Thomson’s denials, doubts about his story have been expressed by all sides of politics and seized upon by the Opposition to raise questions about the legitimacy of the Gillard Government.
“Given the ongoing saga involving Thomson and Fair Work Australia, it is no surprise today’s Morgan Poll shows the L-NP with a record high-share of the two-party preferred vote. The highest L-NP share of the vote in over 70 years of the Morgan Poll — today’s Newspoll showing a swing to the ALP is simply unbelievable.




555 Directory Listing

So, you find yourself wandering around fantasy TV land and you need to make a phone call to someone. But, oh no, there's no telephone directory to hand. Whatever are you going to do!? Well, fortunately, just print out this list of telephone numbers I've spotted in the movies and you'll be able to phone your favourite movie star at a moment's notice. Phew! Crisis averted.

555-0001Simon Peter Gruber (mobile)Die Hard With A Vengeance1995
555-0120Angela HayesAmerican Beauty1999
555-0123GodBruce Almighty2003
555-0134Marla Singer
Fight Club
555-0153Paper Street Soap Co.Fight Club1999
555-0195Carolyn BurnhamAmerican Beauty1999
555-0199Lester Burnham (work number)American Beauty1999
555-1000Amazon EscortsMemento2000
555-1294SkylarGood Will Hunting1997
555-2001Deagle EstateGremlins1984
555-2020GhostbustersGhostbusters II1989
555-2131KAB RadioThe Fog1980
555-2312SanDeEL.A. Story1991
555-3892Financial FreeedomFalling Down1993
555-3970Cetation InstituteStar Trek IV: The Voyage Home1986
555-4154Police Entrapment HotlineThe Specialist1994
555-4211May MunroThe Specialist1994
555-4439Frank BannisterThe Frighteners1996
555-4487Radio StationNight Of The Comet1984
555-4823Mrs. Parker (Jennifer's grandmother)Back to the Future1985
555-4875JackyRisky Business1983
555-7532Terry DoolittleJumpin' Jack Flash1986
Sam Stone
Blade Runner
Ruthless People
555-9175Tech Noir (payphone)The Terminator1984
555-9290Alice MonroeMemoirs Of An Invisible Man1992
555-9371Margaret KellawayThe Mask1994

NumberForInMedia type
555-0000Moe Szyslak, Yes I Am A SurgeonThe Simpsonstv
555-0001Simon Peter GruberDie Hard 3movie
555-0001TaxiHarvard Manmovie
555-0001Mr BurnsThe Simpsonstv
555-0003A Virrio DDS Inc1-800-DENTIST commercialtv
555-0014Brenda's Reality CompanyGeneral Hospitaltv
555-0046Yellow CabDawson's Creektv
555-0070Mike ChurchDead Againmovie
555-0077RolandSabrina the Teenage Witchtv
555-0078Ruff-form Dog SchoolThe Simpsonstv
555-0087Sara MooreServing Saramovie
555-0098Walter and AbigailThe People Next Doortv
555-0100"How's My Driving" signAllstate Commercialtv
555-0100DexterDexter's Laboratorytv
555-0100Dr SchwartzEllentv
555-0100Building?Fight Clubmovie
555-0100Amazon EscortsMementomovie
555-0100MomMotorola Commercialtv
555-0100TaxiResurrection (1999)movie
555-0100Nick ChenThe Corruptormovie
555-0100Club AeroleaVegas Vacationmovie
555-0101WIX radio stationAmerican Gothictv
555-0101Buffy (work)Buffy the Vampire Slayertv
555-0101???Enemy of the Statemovie
555-0101Dean's faxEnemy of the Statemovie
555-0101Answering MachineFX - The Seriestv
555-01012160 Fulton AveFight Clubmovie
555-0101Dr. MarekGoosebumpstv
555-0102Jenna (sitter)Journeymantv
555-0102"Inner Circle"The X-Filestv
555-0103Jack RoseOut of Timemovie
555-0103Doctor Shiro ZamaThe X-Filestv
555-0106Clerk's OfficeThe Practicetv
555-0106Clerk's officeThe Practicetv
555-0107Special Agent John Stevens (FBI)Roswelltv
555-0107OswaldThe Drew Carey Showtv
555-0107Dr. Clifford CoxThe X-Filestv
555-0108Building?Fight Clubmovie
555-0109Gus HolzerOut of Timemovie
555-0111California Taxi Co.Crossroadsmovie
555-0111Car for SaleHome Improvementtv
555-0111Keys Found SignJust Like Heavenmovie
555-0112Fantasy Travel AgencyClockstoppersmovie
555-0112Mikey and ElisaJack & Jilltv
555-0112Toni ScaliThe Commishtv
555-0112Melrose Place Apt for RentThe Tonight Showtv
555-0113Pat SeltsOut of Timemovie
555-0113Sam TedescoOut of Timemovie
555-0113Mr. BurnsThe Simpsonstv
555-0113The SimpsonsThe Simpsonstv
555-0113Dana Sculley (cellular)The X-Filesmovie
555-0114Det. Angela WhiteThe X-Filestv
555-0117Dr. PullenJourneymantv
555-0118AlanDeja Vumovie
555-0118Mathias WhitlockOut of Timemovie
555-0118"I solve Problems. OSU"The X-Filestv
555-0119Alison DuboisMediumtv
555-0120Angela HayesAmerican Beautymovie
555-0121Ted's LiquorsEvery 9 Secondstv
555-0121Oliver OkenHannah Montanatv
KJ5-0121B. McGrainMillenniumtv
555-0121Lewis BrownOut of Timemovie
555-0121Michael KritschoauThe X-Filestv
555-0122Paul GrinnellMillenniumtv
555-0122MaryNews Radiotv
555-0122Mr James' dateNewsRadiotv
555-0122Dennis RaikmanOnce a Thieftv
555-0122Dave GoodmanSlackersmovie
555-0123GodBruce Almighty (DVD version)movie
555-0123Star Garage DoorsIBM commercialtv
555-0123Shopping at Home Network (SHN)Saturday Night Livetv
555-0123Hoyt & AssociatesThe Pretendertv
555-0123QVCThe Tonight Showtv
555-0125Martin TanleyBeverly Hills Ninjamovie
555-0125Jason BarfieldOut of Timemovie
555-0126Natural TalentLarger Than Lifemovie
555-0127Luke's ClubGeneral Hospitaltv
555-0127Natural Talent (fax)Larger Than Lifemovie
555-0127Walton RothThe X-Filestv
555-0128Curtis's dream girlMen Behaving Badlytv
555-0129Moving CompanyMad About Youtv
555-012UHarry's Help LineHome Improvementtv
555-0130GramsDawson's Creektv
555-0130Eric ForresterThe Bold & The Beautifultv
555-0132OJ Simpson Bloopers Tape OfferMad TVtv
555-0132Ryan E.Nynex Adtv
555-0132O.L. DukeOut of Timemovie
555-0132Rodgers TransportationThe Fast and the Furiousmovie
555-0132FBI ClevelandThe X-Filestv
555-0133MichelleMelrose Placetv
KL5-0133Special Agent Michael HayesThe X-Filestv
555-0134Lonely GeorgeBell Adtv
555-0134Marla SingerFight Clubmovie
555-0134Hong Kong RestaurantHarriet the Spymovie
555-0134Teddy aka John GMementomovie
555-0134Mental institutionMilleniumtv
555-0134Eddie AldenSomeone Like Youmovie
555-0135LaurieMotorola commercialtv
555-01352400 MotelThe X-Filestv
555-0136Nora BuchanonOne Life To Livetv
555-0136Court ClerkThe Practicetv
555-0137Post Forensic Cleaning ServiceCurdledmovie
555-0137Have Bikini Will TravelLaw & Ordertv
555-0137Paul EdwardsOut of Timemovie
555-0137Art's DeliThe Big Hitmovie
555-0138Richard Chesler (work)Fight Clubmovie
555-0139Candy40 Days and 40 Nightsmovie
555-0139Big Ed's TiresThe Family Manmovie
555-0141Debby FreemanOut of Timemovie
555-0142Abby MorganDawson's Creektv
555-0142Section OneLa Femme Nikitatv
555-0142Yellow CabMastermindsmovie
555-0142TonyMotorola commercialtv
555-0143QuagmireFamily Guytv
KL5-0143Arlo's Quick TowJoe Dirtmovie
555-0143Robert CabanOut of Timemovie
555-0143Meat TruckThe Corruptormovie
555-0143Craig NewhausenThe X-Filestv
555-0144Aeden Bennet (mobile)Journeymantv
555-0146After SchoolJourneymantv
555-0146"I solve Problems. OSU"The X-Filestv
555-0146Sacha GreenThe Young and the Restlesstv
555-0148Erica BeckOut of Timemovie
555-0149Richard Chesler (work fax)Fight Clubmovie
555-0149St. Victor Notary PublicOut of Timemovie
555-0149Bo's Tire BarnThe Rookiemovie
555-014UHarry's Help LineHome Improvementtv
555-0150Consumer Recreation ServicesThe Gamemovie
555-0151Consumer Recreation Services HotlineThe Gamemovie
555-0153Paper Street Soap Co.Fight Clubmovie
555-0153Beverly BunnMillenniumtv
555-0153CharlieSpin Citytv
555-0153Consumer Recreation Services (fax)The Gamemovie
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Monday, May 28, 2012

I Am Jack's Persistent Internet Meme.

"I Am Jack's Younger Self":

The Secret Connections between "Fight Club" and "Calvin and Hobbes" REVEALED!

By Galvin P. Chow

In the movie Fight Club, the real name of the protagonist (Ed Norton's character) is never revealed. And while some feel the only reason behind this is to give the character more of an "everyman" quality, I say, do not be deceived. Because it's obvious to anyone with working eyes that "Jack" is actually someone whom many of us grew up with, someone who might've been present at all your childhood breakfasts of Sugar Frosted Chocolate Bombs. You see, "Jack" from Fight Club and Calvin from the greatest comic strip ever, "Calvin and Hobbes," are in fact the exact same person! You have doubts, I'm sure. Well, that's to be expected. But laugh now, for by the time you finish reading this page, I will prove to you beyond a shadow of a doubt that Ed Norton is indeed playing the part of grown-up Calvin.

Part I: The Hobbes-Tyler Connection

We start with the most obvious bit.
Picture this: a hyper, self-absorbed child initially concocts an imaginary friend as the ideal playmate, to whom more realistic qualities soon become attributed. This phantasm becomes a completely separate personality, with his own likes, dislikes, temperament -- and the imaginer and the imagined clash and argue constantly, though remaining fast friends. This pattern continues to the point where the child begins to perceive what was originally mere fantasy to be _reality_. So, in short...

...Calvin has an imaginary jungle-animal friend named Hobbes, whom everyone else believes to be nothing but a stuffed toy...
"There are EIGHT rules of Fight Club!"
...just as Tyler is Jack's imaginary cool-guy friend, whom no one but Jack can see.
"Mmm, fresh swordfish steaks!"

In both cases, the entity that began as the ideal companion soon took on a more realistic, 3-dimensional quality. In other words, they became REAL. This is evident in that both Hobbes and Tyler also began to function as scapegoats for their creators. For instance, consider that Calvin often blames broken lamps and other assorted household mischief on Hobbes, and that Jack is inclined to believe that Fight Club and other various anti-society mischief is brought about by Tyler, not himself. Calvin claims Hobbes pounces on him every day after school, Jack believes Tyler beats him up next to 40 kilotons of nitroglycerin in a parking garage -- the list goes on and on. The relationships between the two sets of friends are the exact same. And is this mere coincidence? I think not.

Now then, filling in the time-gap between Calvin and Jack, we can imagine the story as something like this: Once Calvin reaches the hostile environment known as the 7th grade, the constant teasing from the other students and the frustrated concern of his parents finally becomes too much, and a reluctant, disillusioned Calvin is finally forced to grow up, or at least begin to. This decision is sealed by one of the hardest things young Calvin will ever have to do in his life -- un-imagining Hobbes, an act which to Calvin is essentially no different from murder. After being Calvin's best friend for over a decade, Hobbes is packed away in a box, or tossed carelessly into a garbage bag, perhaps even stuffed under the same bed that once contained so many monsters. This is all of course, very painful for Calvin, so much so that he represses it all in shame. So little did Calvin suspect, that while he was busy learning to tie ties, asking someone out to his first dance, deciding what "dinette set defines him as a person," and basically growing up, Hobbes is in fact doing the same thing, in a dark, hidden corner of Calvin's mind, waiting for the moment when he can be free again.

It's worth noting that during these 20 or so years, Hobbes never bore a grudge against Calvin nor wished any ill upon him. Back in their prime, though they bickered constantly, the pair truly did deeply care for each other. And Hobbes, knowing this, resents being put away, but he does not hate Calvin. Rather, he hates the society that MADE Calvin put him away. Hobbes, being inside Calvin's mind, sees and experiences all that Calvin does -- and truly despises all of it. He witnesses a bright, superbly imaginative kid (with a genius-level vocabulary, I might add) reduced to nothing more than another nameless cog, and fighting off the tears wept for his best friend, resolves to one day set him free. And perhaps pays special attention when a bored, college freshman Calvin idly looks up homemade-napalm recipes on the internet, wistfully fantasizing about the freedom he traded in all for the sake of "growing up"...

Flash forward to the timeframe depicted in "Fight Club." Jack, or should I say, "Rupert," or "Cornelius" has reached an all-time low. Even though he had done everything he was supposed to have done, and wound up completely miserable. Which is when Hobbes, newly adjusted as "Tyler Durden" (after all, grown-up Calvin would no longer accept a jungle animal walking, talking, and eating canned tuna), re-enters Calvin/Jack's life. He's going to show Calvin everything he's done wrong, whether Calvin likes it or not.

Tyler to Jack: "I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I'm smart, capable, and most importantly, I'm free in all the ways you wish you could be." And to anyone who argues that Calvin never secretly idolized Hobbes, I point you towards the storyline wherein Calvin dresses up like a tiger and attempts to live in the woods, as collected in "Weirdos From Outer Space!" Moreover, Hobbes was always smarter than Calvin, often served as his social conscience -- yet was not above mischief, often because he knew Calvin would be the only one taking the blame. Both Hobbes and Tyler are cool, collected, intelligent and very cerebral, and share a distaste for man's self-importance, as shown in the panel below:
"You are NOT a beautiful and unique snowflake"...early signs of Tyler?

And, let's not forget that Tyler wants to move back to a more primal, hunter-gatherer other words, an environment in which an animal, i.e., a tiger, would be very much at home. Given the evidence, it's VERY likely that Tyler is indeed an updated version of Hobbes, twisted after so many years trapped inside Calvin/Jack's brain. Just as Calvin is Jack, Hobbes IS Tyler.

Want further proof? Look at Tyler's relationship with the only woman in Jack's life: Marla.

Part II: Marla Singer: Avatar of Susie Derkins?

= ?
Dual Victims of Testicular Cancer?
Okay, I know what you're thinking.
"All right," you say, "Calvin being Jack is a stretch, Hobbes being Tyler is even more of a stretch, but Susie being Marla? Simply impossible! For one thing, their personalities are nothing alike, and also, Marla is not imaginary nor does she remain unnamed throughout the film!"

To which I respond, oh ye, of little faith. Imagine, please, the following:

Somewhere between the end of high school and beginning of college, uptight, grade-obsessed Susie Derkins loses her way. The pressure to get good grades, the pressure to succeed, simply becomes too much for her, and she snaps. Free from the protective bonds of her parents' guidance and the bland safety of her suburban home, she loses her moral bearings entirely and sinks into a dark, seamy, grim world of sex, drugs, and eccentric Albert-Einstein-like hair. And, her transformation being so complete that she no longer even remotely resembles the upright citizen that her parents and society, not necessarily she herself, wanted her to be, she also changes her name. Like Calvin, she has become a misfit, one of society's lost lambs. It is for this reason that she soon finds herself frequenting support groups such as "Remaining Men Together." Fate has brought her back to Calvin, whom maybe she even spurned back in junior high. But the two have changed so much that they no longer recognize each other!

Also I'd like to point out that the pink dress Marla wears in one scene slightly resembles something that "Binky Betsy," Susie's favorite childhood doll, might wear. You remember, the one Calvin once stole and attempted to ransom, but...oh never mind.

All right, so it's a BIT of a stretch, but it could happen! And regardless of whether Marla is indeed the twisted, fallen-from-grace future of Susie "Straight-and-Narrow" Derkins, the fact remains that the two girls play similar roles in the lives of their respective male counterparts, AND with their imaginary friends. Which is to say, that while Calvin and Susie mostly teased and tortured each other, HOBBES, on the other hand, actually quite fancied the raven-haired beauty. Accordingly, Jack despises Marla, whereas Tyler takes an *ahem* sort of interest in her that is definitely NOT appropriate for the Sunday Funnies. And it is through the examination of these relationships in which we can find further evidence that "Jack" is the matured Calvin.

When first we are introduced to Marla, she is but a tumor on Jack's slowly deteriorating world. She is disenfranchised, morbid, socially apathetic -- and Jack despises her because she is a mirror image of himself, his own female double. On the other hand, Calvin hates Susie because she is his exact opposite: Bright, obedient, demure -- the unruly Calvin has every reason to hate her. However, certain strips definitely infer that Calvin has somewhat of a crush on Susie, and some even imply that Susie shares these latent feelings. But as a cootie-fearing grade-schooler, Calvin may only express these strange feelings through attention-getting antagonisms such as constant snowballs to the head, ransoming her dolls -- AND through his separate, conveniently more mature other personality -- Hobbes.
Above: The grown-up versions of Calvin, Hobbes, and Susie restart their old relationships.
Unlike Calvin, Hobbes has never been bashful about showing his affection for Susie. Calvin's imaginary tiger-friend has called her a "cutie," worn swim jams to impress her ("Girls flip for guys in jams"), and even claimed he would betray their club's secret code if she gave him a tummy rub (which is one of the key differences between Tyler and Hobbes). Naturally, all of this confuses and frustrates Calvin beyond words, even though Hobbes is really nothing more than a product of his own mind! And though Hobbes and Susie never consummated their love for each other (he's a stuffed tiger and she's a kid, you sicko!) this is, of course, the EXACT same deranged love-triangle that is shared between Jack, Tyler, and Marla, or at least a natural progression thereof. Perhaps Marla puts up with Jack/Tyler's apparent nonsense for so long, because it's the sort of thing she became used to as a child? And perhaps, in the end, Jack finds solace in Marla because it's the exact same connection he should've made long ago, in his suburban youth. A connection that may have saved them both.

A minor loophole here is Marla's line, "I haven't been fucked like that since grade-school." Well, besides that line having been substituted by David Fincher, not the writer, for another ("I want to have your abortion"), it's more than likely Marla was simply exaggerating, or even considers "Susie" to have never existed.

Part III: GROSS: Precursor of Fight Club

A lot of people think that the creation of something like "Fight Club," by which I mean the actual club and not the movie, would be a frighteningly revolutionary thing. But this is not so. Because when you boil it down, the fighting-club that Jack and Tyler start is really just an odd sort of boys' club -- no ovaries allowed -- where men can be men, and the so-called stronger of the sexes can take solace in the fact that, even in our politically correct times, some exclusivities of manhood still remain. (As a side note, imagine how much more controversy the movie would have generated if it involved scenes of men fighting women on equal ground!) And clubs like this, of course, have their beginnings in backyards, tree houses and garages all over America. Clubs where boys can be boys, clubs made just to exclude girls. And, not surprisingly, Calvin, and Hobbes, started such a club when he was 6 years old. Little did anyone realize that he would construct another one much later in his life, again with the aid of an imaginary friend. For just as Calvin, Hobbes, and Susie have dark future versions in Jack, Tyler, and Marla respectively, GROSS -- Get Rid of Slimy girlS -- has the same in Fight Club.
Above: In a scene eerily reminiscent of Fight Club, Hobbes blithely informs a sulking Calvin that he decides his own level of involvement in GROSS.
GROSS shares many characteristics with Fight Club. Among them:
  • Both have catchy names (although the "slimy" part of GROSS is redundant, otherwise it doesn't spell anything).
  • Both are co-run by a friendless male and his imaginary companion (Calvin is Tyrant and Dictator-for-Life; Hobbes is President and First Tiger).
  • Both are exclusively male organizations, although Fight Club's membership is considerably larger.
  • Along with that, all members of both organizations are very loyal
  • The leaders of both organizations constantly engage in fisticuffs (but only in GROSS does a member receive a demerit for biting)
  • And in said fights, in both organizations there is only one fight at a time!
  • Both are supposedly very secretive (though Jack never tells his mother about Fight Club)
  • At least one leader of both organizations is fond of giving speeches (though Calvin never uses the term "space monkey")
  • GROSS and Fight Club both wreak havoc on their respective neighborhoods (GROSS' target is considerably more focused, i.e., Susie)
Clearly, in GROSS can be seen the roots Fight Club. Calvin shows his penchant for such male-oriented, destructive organizations. Also, just like cardboard-box-time-machines and water-gun-transmogrifiers, GROSS was likely created as an escape, a release. As, of course, was Fight Club.

Part IV: Moe Develops Karmic Bitch-Tits

Okay, so Robert "Moe" Paulson, Calvin's grade-school bully, becomes a six-time weight-lifting champion, and somewhere along the line develops large man-boobs as a result of testicular cancer. This of course leads him to his support group, where he is shocked to find Calvin. Moe greatly regrets his bullying days, but too ashamed to reveal his true identity to Calvin, he instead offers his ample bosom for him to cry on, as a measure of retribution. From there...just kidding! Just kidding! Perhaps the conspiracy doesn't run THIS deep.

But *coughcough* Chloe is actually Calvin's old babysitter Rosalyn. Seriously. The evidence is all there, but no one believes me. Fools, all of you!

Part V: The Root of Evil

Although we've already learned of the fates of Hobbes, Susie, and even Moe and Rosalyn (sort of...), there are a couple of other people important to Calvin that are missing. People that even more integral to his development than (arguably) Hobbes. And these people, are of course, his parents. Namely...
His father, Mr...uhm...
...and his mom, otherwise known as...uh...gimme a sec here...
Okay, I forgot, they don't have names. But then again, we don't NEED to know them. Because in the comic strip, they're not supposed to be important characters in their own right. They only matter in regards to how Calvin is directly effected by them; an effect which, by the time of the movie, doesn't seem to have been very positive. From what Jack mentions, he's not exactly what could be called close to his parents, particularly not his dad, on whom he seems to pin many of his problems. And this matches perfectly with the relationship depicted in the comic, as well as with what I believe to have happened afterwards (in Part I). Let's take a closer look.

We'll begin with Calvin's mom, since she seems the less consequential. In the strip, she appears to be an ordinary housewife, nothing more, nothing less. She comforts or scolds Calvin as needed, goes to many parent-teacher meetings, and seems to enjoy gardening, and that's about all we know. She doesn't seem to be a particularly weak woman, as she seems on fairly equal ground with her husband, in terms of intelligence and personality. Nevertheless, locked in the passive role of a housewife, she appears to have had relatively little effect on Calvin's development.

Now Calvin's dad, on the other hand, seems to have done quite a number on his son. As stated, it was probably at his urging that Calvin "grew up," by which I mean, finally started to try and play by society's rules, which is something that we know never quite worked out. Of course, he wasn't without his playful side -- good-naturedly teasing Calvin at every opportunity -- but perhaps this is why Jack resents him so. For maybe, after Jack reached the end of the path of that was decided for him, only to find emptiness as his reward, perhaps he thought back to when his father told him that the sun sets down somewhere in Arizona every night. "Maybe," thought Calvin, "maybe ALL of it's been just another one of Dad's cruel jokes."

In the "bathtub" scene of Fight Club, Jack and Tyler discuss their parents. In this scene, key information arises, as do, apparently, large inconsistencies. First the latter. Jack claims his father left when he was six, an age when Calvin's was obviously still around, but this statement is contradicted soon after, when Tyler mentions his own dad telling him to get married when he was 30, to which Jack responds, "mine said that TOO." So what this probably amounts to is the self-pitying Jack attempting to garner additional sympathy from his newfound friend by making his childhood sound worse than it actually was. But even more interesting is Tyler's hostility towards his father: when Jack asks him who he would fight, if he could fight anyone, he answers, "I'd fight my father." But, since Tyler is only a figment of Jack's imagination, we can only assume he's referring to JACK'S father. And while this hatred would only make sense given that the two are sharing the same brain, why is it that Tyler seems to hate Jack's father even more vividly than Jack himself does? Well, maybe it's because Tyler hasn't forgotten who's ultimately responsible for the de-imagining that took place years before...maybe he's still not too happy about it...
...and maybe he's got some pretty good ideas for revenge.
So, as you can see, the role of Calvin's father in all of this is no small one. Other than to "save" Calvin, it's entirely possible that Tyler's real motivation for taking down civilization is simply to get back at Calvin's father. For by destroying the society that forced Calvin into repressing Hobbes, he's also destroying the society that Calvin's father, after all, epitomizes. And this of course, allows Hobbes an indirect measure of revenge. But we're getting off track again. Because with all this talk of secondary characters, we're forgetting the one person that's at the center of all of this:

Part VI: And Finally: "I Am Jack's Lost Youth -- Calvin"

As we've already thoroughly examined all the secondary members of the cast, and analyzed them in light of their various relationships with the protagonist, actually putting Calvin himself under the microscope, at this point, seems largely unnecessary. After all, there already seems to be abundant evidence of the connections between Fight Club and Calvin and Hobbes. However, there do remain some key points that rest only within Calvin, and only with Calvin, himself. So, examine we shall. 

Although the personality differences between Calvin in the comic strip and Calvin in the movie are pretty large, it can be explained as easily as taking Id and introducing him to Superego (Jack actually seems to have sort of a Super-Superego). Nearly all people go through the same thing when first confronted with the crushing grind of reality. But, as they say, the bigger they are, the harder they fall -- and in terms of imagination and dreams, Calvin was a giant.

Above: Calvin displaying an early distaste for institution
Still, it's not as though no common traits between Calvin-Calvin and Jack-Calvin can be identified at all. Besides a preference for imaginary friends over real ones, and an ability to express affection for girls, Calvin has never done well when forced to play by any sort of rules. Take, for instance, his utter inability in any sort of organized sport, compared to his unbridled joy while playing the make-it-up-as-you-go-along "Calvinball." Furthermore, even at age 8 Calvin never exactly thrived in stifling, authoritarian establishments (i.e., school), and he's always had clashes with authority figures since the strip began (his parents, the doctor, his teacher, Rosalyn) -- which actually may have initially planted the seeds for Tyler. Beyond that, his excellent vocabulary and way with words is still with him in the voice-over narration of Fight Club, and the rampant materialism that started with mail-order propeller-beanies ended with yin-yang shaped tables. I'm sure I'm even forgetting a few of the similarities -- as for the differences, they can be credited to the demoralizing effect of reality.

Of course, there IS the issue of Calvin's trademark spiky blond hair, noticeably absent on Jack. But, many adult brunettes were blondes as children, and furthermore, notice how Tyler, Jack's image of an ideal male, does possess the hairstyle in question.

So, when it all comes down to it, what do the events of Fight Club mean to Calvin? Two words: "Personal Responsibility." For although Fight Club and Project Mayhem were both mostly Tyler's doing, by the end of the movie, Jack readily accepts his own part of the blame, as Tyler is his creation. And by doing so, he's also accepting responsibility for the undesirable condition of his own LIFE -- his father may have pushed him, but Calvin himself was the one who chose to obey. It is through this newfound self-accountability that Calvin/Jack is able to take control of his own life at last. As skyscrapers flash and crumble in the background, and blood oozes from the bullet hole in his head, Calvin says that he is "okay." And we are apt to believe him.

Part VI: Odds, Odds, and Ends

Despite my exhaustive research, there are still some oddities and disparities along the way from Calvin to Jack. None of them are too important, so I'll just list them briefly:
  • Whither Calvin's trademark red, black-striped shirt? If he's attempting to revert more back to his old self, you'd think he woulda tracked down something similar, as his "Rosebud."
  • It's hard to believe Calvin could ever really get along without TV.
  • Notice how Calvin and Hobbes actually reversed many personality traits as Jack and Tyler? Maybe Calvin is the personality that got repressed and Hobbes is the one that did the "growing up."
  • Tyler wears a fur coat near the end of the movie. What is the significance of this garment, given his past incarnation as a jungle animal? Discuss.
  • Jack's skill with firearms apparently was not helped by years of practice on Calvin's dart gun.
"Stay away from me, Tyler!"
  • If Calvin really wanted to change things, then why didn't he just dust off his old cardboard-box time machine and hop in?
  • Given Calvin's dislike for camping trips as a child, it's strange he took to life in the Paper Street house so easily.
  • Tyler has a preference for loud, gaudy clothing, whereas Hobbes' look was always one of dignified reserve.
  • If it had been winter in the movie, I'm sure there would have been a scene where Jack and Tyler make a small gallery of gruesome snowmen.
  • After the end of Fight Club, when Calvin realizes he's effectively killed Hobbes twice now, do you really think he'll still be "okay"?

Tyler Durden says: "You've read this far, you may as well finish it!"

Part VII: Conclusion

*Whew* That was quite a trip, wasn't it? We've come a long way, and you're probably more than a little confused. So, let's finish off with some brief explication.

To look at it one way, Calvin's world in the comic strip is pure, romanticized idealism, whereas in the movie, he lives in gray, bleak reality. Within the safety of the panel, Calvin is perpetually eight years old, terrible things can never happen, and no matter how crazy a stunt he pulls, everything always returns to status quo. Because of this, our hero is free to do as he wishes, free to chase his dreams as wildly as he desires, never having to worry about tomorrow because there essentially will never BE one -- unless it's part of a continuing storyline. This makes the reality of Fight Club all the bleaker, because it depicts what happens when you take someone weaned on dreams and limitless possibilities and jam him into a cramped cage confined by rules and regulations. It probably only took poor Calvin a few years in the adult world (or growing-up world) to fully make the sad change. Watching his dreams be crunched into dust by cold reality, he must have felt a little like Icarus after flying too close to the sun.

In closing, we must remember that the transition from Calvin to Jack is not a terribly unique one. Because really, the same probably would happen to any fantasy character suddenly finding himself in reality. Little Nemo became a banker, Peter Pan became a lawyer, and Garfield was caught and butchered by the chef of a Chinese restaurant. (One exception to this would probably be Charlie Brown, who from all indications, was mentally middle-aged at the time of his birth) Reality bites, kiddies, and Calvin in Fight Club is proof of that.

So there you have it. Incontrovertible evidence, laid out in detail, that the so-called "Fight Club" is indeed a disguised, live-action movie version of Calvin and Hobbes. Perhaps now that this is exposed, David Fincher can come clean and released a director's cut version called It's a Magical Fight Club, or perhaps Fight Club is Under the Bed and Drooling; a special edition that will include, among other things, actual video footage of C&H creator Bill Watterson making a rare venture away from his hermitage so he can go to the 20th Century Fox offices and grumpily tear up his royalties check. Hey, if a stuffed tiger can start a bloody underground ring of would-be pugilists, anything can happen.

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