Thou shall have no other gods before Obama. For Obama is a jealous god who demands total obeisance.
In 2008, Americans voted to deify a unique man of history. Obama is much more than the first president to be raised by a transsexual nanny in Indonesia. He's also the very first commander-in-chief to thank his drug dealer in his high school yearbook, instead of his mom.
In the last election, public schoolteachers forced their students to sing hymns of praise to their puppy-eating Obama-god, and proudly placed their devotionals on YouTube. Media acolytes proclaimed him "The One" and "The LightBringer," and audiences fainted dead away at his rallies, presumably overcome by all that dang Light he was a'bringin'.
