X-men Supreme: Amazing Spider-Man #700 and UN-Amazing Spoilers
Amazing Spider-Man #700 and UN-Amazing Spoilers
I did it once and I pissed a few people off in the process. So I'm doing it again because I'm a drunk and I stop giving a shit after a certain number of shots! I'm going to spoil another landmark issue of Amazing Spider-Man that has Marvel has been billing as the biggest Spider-Man milestone since Stan Lee and Steve Ditko's last simultaneous fart together. Amazing Spider-Man #700 isn't just billed as this huge milestone for a comic. It's supposed to set the stage for a big relaunch called Superior Spider-Man. I'm not sure how he's supposed to be superior. Early indications seem to imply that he's meaner, tougher, and more of an overall asshole. Shit, if that's superior, then my high school gym teacher was practically a god. But it's still speculation at this point.
For now, we know that Doctor Octopus swapped minds with Peter Parker. So for a while now Doc Ock has been parading around in Peter's body, playing the part of a hero, and boning all his women. It's basically the ultimate "fuck you" from a villain. Peter, now stuck in Doc Ock's body, is trying to fight back by getting his body back before Doc Ock fucks his reputation, ruins his relationships, or gets him one too many STDs. Amazing Spider-Man #700 is supposed to show how it all ends. Well until now, we could only speculate. Then the fine folks at 4chan leaked images online and since I'm such a generous guy, I'm going to share them here on this blog! First off, a clear warning. If you scroll down further, you will see some very spoilerific images!
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
THIS
IS
YOUR
LAST
WARNING
HERE
YOU
GO!
I know the image quality is pretty shitty. It's the best I can do. But if it helps, here are a few more images that break down the final pages.
Hint, that's not Doc Ock that's lying dead in the street...not entirely anyways.
This confirms one rumor, namely about Spider-Man being more of an asshole. It's like giving my old gym teacher super-powers. No good can come of it.
Just some casual boasting to end it all. It's the kind of boasting that is not the mark of a hero or anyone who preaches shit like power and responsibility, but I guess Marvel just thinks that shit isn't cool.
So there you have it. This is the new Superior Spider-Man. I'm not going to go too deep into my opinions while I'm this drunk, but I will make one important note to those hardcore Spider-Man fans that I know will be outraged. This is EXACTLY what Marvel wants. They figured out back during One More Day, Ultimatum, Avengers vs. X-men, Disassembled, and the Clone Saga that no matter how outraged fans get, they still buy their shit. I'm not sure they understand it. I don't think they give three tenths of a shit anyways. But for some reason, outraged fans still buy their shit. Marvel doesn't fear pissing off their fans anymore. They only fear their fans getting apathetic. That's the biggest weapon against comics. Apathy. The day fans become apathetic is the day Marvel knows they made a huge mistake. And because of outrage, this book will sell and they won't care how pissed off the people buying it are. So from one fanboy to many others, we've no one to blame but ourselves for this shit. It's not Marvel. It's us. We're terrible. I'm an adult. I know how to deal with it. And when I can't, I drink. It's a perfect solution! Nuff said.
Amazing Spider-Man #700 and UN-Amazing Spoilers
I did it once and I pissed a few people off in the process. So I'm doing it again because I'm a drunk and I stop giving a shit after a certain number of shots! I'm going to spoil another landmark issue of Amazing Spider-Man that has Marvel has been billing as the biggest Spider-Man milestone since Stan Lee and Steve Ditko's last simultaneous fart together. Amazing Spider-Man #700 isn't just billed as this huge milestone for a comic. It's supposed to set the stage for a big relaunch called Superior Spider-Man. I'm not sure how he's supposed to be superior. Early indications seem to imply that he's meaner, tougher, and more of an overall asshole. Shit, if that's superior, then my high school gym teacher was practically a god. But it's still speculation at this point.
For now, we know that Doctor Octopus swapped minds with Peter Parker. So for a while now Doc Ock has been parading around in Peter's body, playing the part of a hero, and boning all his women. It's basically the ultimate "fuck you" from a villain. Peter, now stuck in Doc Ock's body, is trying to fight back by getting his body back before Doc Ock fucks his reputation, ruins his relationships, or gets him one too many STDs. Amazing Spider-Man #700 is supposed to show how it all ends. Well until now, we could only speculate. Then the fine folks at 4chan leaked images online and since I'm such a generous guy, I'm going to share them here on this blog! First off, a clear warning. If you scroll down further, you will see some very spoilerific images!
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
THIS
IS
YOUR
LAST
WARNING
HERE
YOU
GO!
I know the image quality is pretty shitty. It's the best I can do. But if it helps, here are a few more images that break down the final pages.
Hint, that's not Doc Ock that's lying dead in the street...not entirely anyways.
This confirms one rumor, namely about Spider-Man being more of an asshole. It's like giving my old gym teacher super-powers. No good can come of it.
Just some casual boasting to end it all. It's the kind of boasting that is not the mark of a hero or anyone who preaches shit like power and responsibility, but I guess Marvel just thinks that shit isn't cool.
So there you have it. This is the new Superior Spider-Man. I'm not going to go too deep into my opinions while I'm this drunk, but I will make one important note to those hardcore Spider-Man fans that I know will be outraged. This is EXACTLY what Marvel wants. They figured out back during One More Day, Ultimatum, Avengers vs. X-men, Disassembled, and the Clone Saga that no matter how outraged fans get, they still buy their shit. I'm not sure they understand it. I don't think they give three tenths of a shit anyways. But for some reason, outraged fans still buy their shit. Marvel doesn't fear pissing off their fans anymore. They only fear their fans getting apathetic. That's the biggest weapon against comics. Apathy. The day fans become apathetic is the day Marvel knows they made a huge mistake. And because of outrage, this book will sell and they won't care how pissed off the people buying it are. So from one fanboy to many others, we've no one to blame but ourselves for this shit. It's not Marvel. It's us. We're terrible. I'm an adult. I know how to deal with it. And when I can't, I drink. It's a perfect solution! Nuff said.
