Thursday, January 10, 2013

The Last Psychiatrist: Hipsters On Food Stamps, Part 1

The Last Psychiatrist: Hipsters On Food Stamps, Part 1

It's hard to accept that the University of Chicago grad described in the article isn't employable, that the economy doesn't need him, but it is absolutely true, but my point here is that not only is he not contributing, the economy doesn't need him to contribute. 

Which is good, because there's nothing he can do for it.

1. Anything requiring science is out. 

2. "He can work manual labor!"  I love how people assume economics doesn't apply to construction.  The demand for those jobs is very high AND hipsters suck at them.  At any wage, Gerry the hipster will always be outworked by Vinnie the son of a longshoreman, who will always be outworked by a Mexican illegal, i.e. the system will always be able to find someone who can do the job better AND with lower labor costs.  Bonus: no need to pay Jose's insurance, everyone knows Hispanics never get sick, except fake psychiatrically. 

3. Hipsters are not good at retail or sales unless detached irony is required, which it is not, which is why they're on food stamps.  Here's a quick test, watch this video:


...


Is Baldwin's character a jerk or a savior?  The genius of the story is that half of you will have completely misunderstood it, and you like mint chutney and food stamps. The secret is at the beginning, at 0:15, where it is revealed that Alec Baldwin doesn't feel any of this, the whole speech is a work.  If you were in that room, some of you would understand this as a work, but feed off the energy of the message anyway, welcome the coach's cursing at you, "this guy is awesome!"; while some of you would take it personally, this guy is a jerk, you have no right to talk to me like that, or-- the standard maneuver when narcissism is confronted with a greater power-- quietly seethe and fantasize about finding information that will out him as a hypocrite.  So satisfying.
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